How do you tell a friend that he's moving too fast?
She's single, but he's in the middle of filing a divorce.
He shouldn't rush into this. He's married.
Even after the divorce, he's just divorced.
When is the right time to start dating again?


In my lifetime, I've learned that Men Don't Want To Leave Their Wives.
In this particular case, his wife gave up the marriage and wants out. He's agreeing because for the last nine months, it's been an unhealthy relationship. How soon will it be before he can start a new relationship - and it be on good grounds, with a firm framework, and not so emotionally baggaged?

Three days before my birthday, a friend, a music partner, and a guy who liked me more than I realized all got together and said I was a whore. The friend, a former boyfriend, said I gave him herpes and claimed my illness from the few weeks before was a cover-up for an abortion. The music partner said I was dating him and slept with him. The other guy said I was dating him, slept with him, was pregnant, and cheated on him with the music guy.

See, this is all a circle: My music partner said I was dating him. The third guy claimed I was dating him. Both said I slept with them, so from here it looks like I cheated on both of them, with the other. The former boyfriend said that my "illness" (and I was sick - I bursted multiple hemorrhoids) was shady and it was a cover-up for an abortion. If you know anything about hemorrhoids, your lower abdomen hurts like hell, you vomit, and you bleed internally. Of course the third guy says 'oh! she has morning sickness' and the former boyfriend says 'oh! she WAS pregnant so she had an abortion!'.

Talk about a mess. Of course nothing in it is true. These guys talked to everyone I know and everyone they know to warn others about my "game". Bastards. I'll tell you this: People that love you don't try to jeopardize your character. Oh, may I add that after all this crap happened, they all asked me to put this behind me and still be friends. WTF?! The former boyfriend and the third guy both said they still loved me. The third guy said he still wanted to date me. We weren't even dating! This was all so confusing.

Do I forgive them for what they did? No. But I don't let it manipulate my life. If someone wants to believe such shite about me, well then they aren't worth being my friend. I didn't want people to "be on my side" to keep them as friends. I wanted them to trust me. If you think so lowly of me to believe the rumors that were spread, then go ahead, but you lost a great friend.

I don't care what people think of me. I want the people that DO know me to undertsand that all those bits about me couldn't be true, because it's not my nature. I would not love myself if I ever cheated on my boyfriend (who was not mentioned).

My last ten years in a nutshell:
I attract the emotionally unstable. Is it because I'm so strong? I can't stand to carry other people. I want to spend my life, and share it with someone - not validate my existence by being in a relationship. I don't want to fill in someone else's missing void. I want to catch the overflow.
I have mostly male friends (because I get along with them better). Sure, they're immature compared to women, but they don't complain about their weight, broken nails, fading hair dye, or "how that guy TOTALLY just checked" them out.
Seems like every guy that comes near me wants to spend every freakin' hour of the day with me. I'm not mysterious! I am outspoken. I am not unpredictable! I've never done things spur-of-the-moment. I am not wild. I love reading and watching movies. What the heck is there that is so magnetizing to male humans?

Some don't understand this: my dream is to be a housewife. I want to stay in the house and cook for my family. I want to assist my children with their homework. I want to play with the pets and take hour-long walks. This does not mean I wish to be a slave and cater to everyone's wants. I will do for you what I can while giving love and attention that I have in excess of what I give myself, but I am not DYING to wash your clothes and dishes for you. I want to help and support, not do things for you. Even though I love to cook, don't tell me, "I want roasted garlic chicken with mashed potatoes for dinner... and I want it at 5:30." If you have a request, notify me in advance, and I would appreciate some care for my work: "Are you making dinner tonight? Do we have appropriate foods for (such and such)?" Offer money and/ or a ride to the grocer/market if we don't. I just get irritated by demands or someone expecting something from me. I don't have to do this for you. I want to, but if I'm not appreciated, then why is it worth my time?
I understand it's really hard to have a single-income family. That's why I'm prepared to work. At the moment, I am free and able to be self-employed. It's working out so far (since Oct 2007). Now, if I marry, I might need to work. OK, no problem. I'll work. I put passion into anything I can do well. I'm not a workaholic, but I'm borderline perfectionist. I only want to be happy and healthy, so if I have those two factors going for me, I'm gonna spend that little extra time doing work-related endeavors. If I don't have kids yet, I'm probably going to be at work a lot. Chances are, my husband and I will not have the exact same working hours, so don't act like I'm neglecting you when you KNOW I am at work and can't be with you until I am off work and coming back home. I know you miss me, but show it when I'm back home - don't whine while I'm at work getting paid to help the family and not spending that precise hour with you at home when I simply can't.

Ok, ladies, all those ads of stick women with dark tans and perfect skin and manicures and triple highlights..... you might think guys want all that (and some do) but I don't have a problem with guys wanting me and I'm not skinny (but I'm thin-ish because I'm athletic), I'm pale as hell (Irish-German-Danish), I have my natural frail nails that are broken all the time, and my natural dry brown hair that's always frizzy. And screw all these perfumes, eau de parfumes, colognes, body sprays, and pheromone crap that's available. I don't use that stuff either. And look at me... As long as I'm socially acceptable to go out, I'll go out. I bathe, I get dressed, throw my hair in a bunched up mess behind my head (sometimes known as a messy ponytail) and I do whatever my errands are for the day. I get hoards of compliments all the time because I'm happy to be awake, walking, and able to enjoy any little "life's pleasures" that sneaks up on me. I smile, and people seem to take to me well. That's it.

Hmm, I'm tired   ::laughs::